Are There Justifications for Cheating?

Cheating has affected many of us at one time or another and many of us have ourselves cheated at one time or another. Many of us feel guilty about cheating whilst some of us think it is acceptable under certain circumstances. With that in mind we look at the question of whether there are justifications for cheating.
Many people think that there are no acceptable justifications for cheating. This is in many ways the dominant opinion in society and the media. In most circumstances there are many better courses of action than cheating and if you are considering cheating you should probably try some of the following courses of action and ask yourself some questions.

1. Ask yourself why you want to cheat or are cheating?
If you are cheating because you are unhappy with your relationship or are cheating because you want to leave your partner but don’t know how then you should really try talking to your partner as a first avenue. This will cause less harm to you and your current partner in the long run so you should try your utmost to communicate first.

2. Are you under a lot of stress or pressure?
Cheating is often caused by stress and pressure in our lives and if this is something you are being affected by then you might want to try something other than a new relationship. It might be the case that there are some things you might want to work on yourself before you decide to cheat.

3. Do you have problems with commitment and trust?
This is another common cause of infidelity and if this is something you suffer from then you should work on these issues with your partner in order to overcome them. Lack of communication is one of the most common reasons for infidelity and it is something that can be worked on and improve your relationship.

4. Is your relationship salvageable?
If your relationship isn’t salvageable then you might be impelled to cheat as you can’t face actually ending your current relationship. For many people cheating acts as a catalyst to ending a relationship and this, whilst not the least harmful course of action can be a common though unfortunate justification for cheating.

In most of these situations talking to your current partner can usually resolve the issues or at least end the relationship without causing additional harm. However, there are also a number of other occasion when cheating can occur that challenge the conventional wisdom on cheating.
Many people cheat for a number of reasons that transcend a more simple reason. Common causes of these kinds of infidelity are loveless marriages, family and child commitments and situations where someone’s partner is unable to have sexual intimacy for a variety of reasons. In these situations we might excuse someone for cheating on the grounds that it can cause more difficulties if they admit to their infidelities. These cases make the minority of cases but we would still recommend talking first if possible and only acting after thinking carefully about all your options.

Can Cheating be Avoided?

The question of cheating is one that unfortunately occupies many of our minds and affects millions of relationships. Cheating can happen for a number of reasons and in a number of circumstances ranging from breakdown in a relationship to too much alcohol and an awful next day. With that in mind we decided to look at whether cheating can be avoided and how you should avoid it where you can. For the purposes of this debate we’re going to delineate between two kinds of cheating – flings and more extensive extra-relationship relations.

Cheating is often caused by unhappiness in a variety of forms and is usually a symptom of a relationship under severe pressure or a failing relationship. The main causes of this are a lack of communication and a lack of care and attention being paid to a relationship. In this sense it can actually be avoided in 90% of cases as you can talk to your partner and discuss all your issues. In many cases things can improve for a relationship and in some cases the relationship will come to an end. In many ways this can help avoid the pain of cheating and will mean your relationship can continue with renewed vigour and success. Dealing with these problems head on is normally the best way to avoid cheating. However, with these issues in mind we now look at the two kinds of cheating we identified and how to avoid them if you yourself are considering or likely to cheat.

We’ll start by looking at flings as these are the most common form of cheating that happens. Flings are actually easily avoided provided you want to avoid them. This is of course entirely up to you but should you wish to avoid cheating there are a number of steps you can take. Firstly, make sure you try and avoid situations where you might be tempted to cheat. Most important of all these situations are the common situations where large amounts of alcohol are involved. This might seem flippant but getting even tipsy can and does have a serious impact on our judgement and is likely to cause you to cheat. If you are in these situations try and ring your partner or arrange to talk to them when you get home so that they are expecting you to call. This way you won’t be tempted to end up going home with someone else. Alternatively try to make sure you head home with friends and don’t put yourself in a situation where you might be tempted to cheat. The same should apply if you travel a lot for work or are in other situations where a fling becomes likely.

The second type of cheating can be avoided in much the same way but the key problems are that these long term relationships are normally indications that your actual relationship has failed. Talking to your partner can in most cases resolve issues or end a relationship so if this is possible you should try this as a first avenue of action. If a relationship has formed and continues to develop then you need to examine why you are continuing two relationships at once. If one is or could satisfy all your needs then the other should ideally be ended. These are of course only a few of the options and ways of avoiding cheating. We are unfortunately only human and we all do things that perhaps from retrospection we might well of avoided.

When Cheating Helps You Feel Better

Believe it or not, many people claim cheating actually helps them feel better about their situation. Many who have cheated claim they learned a thing or two about themselves and even offer advice to others who are contemplating cheating on their boyfriend or girlfriend. While this whole scenario may seem strange, there are a few points that may have you think about cheating from another perspective.

Many who have admitted to cheating say they have been with their partner for a long time, some for several years.  And while they say they enjoy being with this person, life presents new experiences in ways unimaginable. Some say all of the sudden things change and they don’t see the same person they once fell in love with.  At one point they claim they could not see themselves cheating on their partner but many experience excitement and thrill their current relationship lacks when they cheat.

Several claim that once they experience a change in their life, this was when the urge to cheat came to light.  For example, you may have been working at a certain job for a few years and you decide to take another job at another company because it offers better pay. This not only presents new opportunities for career development, it allows you to have new experiences with new people. You may even find yourself being attracted to someone within this new environment, or someone may be attracted to you.  You start flirting with this person and you enjoy the attention it brings. You eventually find yourself hanging out with this person outside of work such as going out for drinks.  And you may have an idea of what happens next.

While you are enjoying your new found attention you still feel as if something isn’t right between you and your partner. Changes between the two of you may include experiencing more arguments, not having enough time for each other and you may start rethinking about the status of your relationship.  In some cases, you may even find yourself seeking comfort in the person giving you new attention.  Your new found attention turns into lust and eventually you find yourself in bed with this person. But once you’ve cheated how do you feel?

Many who have cheated claim they don’t feel bad but feel empowered and even want more. It may be that a certain want or need isn’t being fulfilled. Some claim they like the idea of being able to cheat and not get caught.  A few claim they cheat just for the excitement and lust, but still want to be with their partner.  Many say cheating on their partner has helped them see their own relationship in a new light. If they have been with someone for so long they feel as if they were missing out on being free to do what they please with others.

But what else about cheating cheaters have learned? Some say it is easy to do and get away with. You need to be clever so you don’t get caught. Lust and love in the mind tend to conflict one another which may a big influence on your decision to cheat.

Open Relationship Outside the Marriage

So the idea of your spouse wanting to date outside of your marriage makes you wonder whether or not it will have a positive effect on your relationship with your spouse.  In many cases it depends on how you look at the situation and how open you really are into allowing another person into your marriage.  What reasons does your spouse claim for wanting to date or be with another person outside of the marriage?  Does your spouse want you to engage in activity with this other person? How does this change or label the status of your marriage?

Many claim that the new fidelity to keeping love and understanding in today’s marriages includes having open relationships.  This may include swinging, having a threesome or one spouse deciding to have “relations” with a third person.  While marriage is often seen as a bond totally exclusive, in modern society more women and men are interacting more with each other. More marriages are ending in divorce. People are seeking all sorts of ways to save their marriage and it includes seeing other people while still being married.  But is this concept helping or ending marriages?

It’s obvious the rules have changed over the years. While many have a strict definition on marriage, the idea of having an open relationship is rising in popularity. Depending on whom you ask their definition of an open relationship may vary.  Some may have an emotional connection with a third person outside of their marriage that doesn’t include being physically intimate.

In many cases couples who encourage an open relationship may not do it for sexual purposes.  There may be true love within the boundaries that include sharing it with those you care about.  For example, a married couple may agree to an open relationship with one they know such as an old college friend.  Even having an open relationship with someone new could spark some excitement.  The idea for many couples is to introduce something new and different to their marriage, yet is it something you should do for your marriage?

Some think having an open relationship is better than splitting up or divorcing.  It often depends on why a spouse wants a relationship outside of the marriage to begin with.  Is it for happiness or sexual pleasure? Many feel that sex and love are two different things and seek to experience each differently with different people.  This may help alleviate frustration often experienced in long term marriages.  Maybe you and your spouse love each other but frustration experienced could be sexually related and you feel an open relationship with another person could help.

So is having a relationship or dating outside of your marriage a viable alternative? Some say yes.  Some claim it reduces infidelity. Few say they experience better sex. Yet, having an open relationship is something that could lose its charm if done too much or too often.  Many who are in open relationships or date outside of their marriage claim to have the best of both worlds with interesting sexual experiences and emotional security.