When friends with benefits does not pay dividend
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The Cons
Unfortunately the cons are potentially quite extensive. Firstly, you have the most common problem of feelings either already present or developing. Now you might not think this is or will be a problem but you need to realise your FWB might not feel the same way. This is inevitably the most common reason why FWB relationships go wrong – one person already has or develops feelings that the other does not reciprocate. This inevitably creates problems and has broken up more friendships than we would be able to count.
Secondly as we alluded to earlier many FWB relationships happen as a result of a more serious relationship or dating. This type of FWB relationship creates the same problems as above but with the added problems of a relationship having already existed. In this case you cannot be assured that your “friend” isn’t really after a return to a relationship and you need to ask yourself seriously why you want a FWB relationship with your ex.
Finally you also have the serious problems of jealousy and attachment. Whilst at first FWB relationships might seem like a win-win situation you need to be wary of becoming jealous of your friend whilst they try and find a long term relationship that will in time replace your current “with benefits” relationship. Whilst FWB seems like an easy route, after an extensive period of time you may become more attached than you have previously realised – so be warned.
Our Advice
Honestly speaking the potential cons of FWB relationships far outweigh the pros in most situations. If you are considering, or are in, this kind of relationship you need to be cautious and talk to your friend to make sure that you are both in the same position and both feel the same way about your benefits. Remember you are potentially risking a valuable friendship and don’t take any aspect of “benefits” for granted.